What a journey this has been. Now, knowing what I know what do I do with it? For years I have asked myself “what do I have to offer that has not already been said?” Slowly the answer has been formulating. Then recently someone said something to me that encapsulated the answer. They spoke of how differently we process things because our filters are all somewhat different. So that’s why I write. All this data, this information, this knowledge, has been going through my filter. It has been getting stored up in the file drawers of my mind and until recently when I actively started looking through and organizing those ‘mind-drawers’ there was a lot of disorganized material stored. But now I believe that out of all the muddle and confusion there is useful information that has been filtered and sifted into constructive, beneficial and most of all helpful answers. This blog is first and foremost for victims who don’t know what they have been dealing with. Like me in the beginning, they don’t know where to begin. They don’t know ‘the what’ or ‘the how.’ I would like to offer hope and understanding. Mostly I want to offer a road to healing. I don’t have a college degree or psychiatric credentials. I do offer instead hands-on experience, not textbook theory.
I started this blog months ago. However, it has been stalled. Stalled by a number of factors. I did not want it to be a venting room. I have read many blogs where people have voiced, complained and lamented what they have experienced and dealt with. It’s necessary and understandable. But months, years later I have opened their blog and they are still there, still venting, still protesting, still angry and bitter. They are stuck, stuck talking about ‘the what’ but offering no viable solution of how to live a victorious healed life. I do not want this blog to be all about my life’s experience. I didn’t see that as a solution either. Moreover, if I just threw it all out there and told people every little detail of ‘my what’ there are people who are important to me, whom I love more than life itself who would be wounded. I don’t want that. There are also people who will attack viciously. They weren’t there, they didn’t live it or see it, but they will go on the defensive and do everything they can to discredit me. I get that too. No one wants to see the family name smeared, no one wants to face that there are any imperfections in their family unit. But there are. Every family has some level of dysfunction. That goes back to everyone’s filter being different. As I’ve sorted through my ‘mind-drawers’ I’ve come to the realization that for my blog to be helpful to victims of Extreme Narcissism some things need to be exposed. So I will spend some time explaining my life-experiences, but my focus is on moving forward, not going around the same mountain month after month, article after article. I will offer links to some of the articles I found helpful in understanding Malignant Narcissism. They will be offered for understanding, but once you have gained that knowledge of ‘the what’ make a conscience effort to not stay stuck there. The longer you dwell on ‘the what’, the longer you go around in circles about something you can’t change or fix.
This is about you. It’s about mind renewal. It’s about finding your self-worth. It’s about knowing that you are loved with an everlasting love. It’s about moving out of the past and into a future with confidence, assurance and buoyancy.